I think life is funny sometimes. When I was growing up and even into adulthood my family referred to me as the non-crier of the bunch. I'm the youngest of 4 girls so estrogen was thrown around like kleenex. I however wasn't always on board with the showing of emotion. I believe stoic or ice queen was mentioned a time or 12.
It's just a little ironic that this thing I call Ranch Life has brought out the tears in me. I think that the life and death struggle we as ranchers go through everyday has something to do with it. It's also the fact that we entrust ourselves with the extreme responsibility of caring for other living beings. I think that's what makes ranch men quiet and realistic and ranch women extra caring and loving.
It seems like every other memory or story I post on here has at least one tear involved. Well, why stop now? Let's not break tradition or anything.
As most of you know by now, we are in the middle of "lambing". In other words, Momma sheep are popping out babies left and right! It's very hard to not fall in love with lambs, they're so tiny and fuzzy, they just need to be hugged and loved and kissed. Anyway....
The other morning (way early, ugh) I was checking sheep (walking through the ewes to see if any had popped) and I found her. A ewe that had twins, one was alive and one was dead. My heart sank for a second, but I had to get them in to the barn before the live one got too cold. After a few struggles, she was safe and sound in the barn and the lamb was up and nursing.
Soon the Cowboy was there to help. I told him what happened and he said, "Let's go". I thought this meant, go home for a cup of coffee before feeding cows. Silly me.
It meant, show me where the dead lamb is. I took him over to where the little one lay. At this point I was ok, no tears. Then the Cowboy pulled out his pocket knife. I knew this would happen when I found the little one dead, it meant that PW would have a real chance at having a mommy. (click here if you don't know who PW is.)
Two seconds after the click of the pocket knife, the Cowboy went to work skinning. I've seen many things skinned in my life due to the various hunting seasons. Seriously, it's so different. I didn't start crying until I had to help hold him. I lost it, just started bawling! I was cussing everyone and their dog for letting this lamb die so I had to help skin it. I didn't care if PW was an orphan all his life at that point. I just cried and cried. I felt like a little kid. You know how a kid cries with no care about where the tears fall (or freeze to my face) or how much the snot is running out of their nose. Yup that was me, in the middle of the sheep corrals.
I really needed some coffee. It would have to wait though, we needed to take care of PW. I picked him up and we fit him into his new coat. He went straight to nursing, and his new momma didn't seem to mind. Yesterday I snapped a few pictures and took off his coat. He only wore it for a couple days.
This Ranch Life has taught me many things, one of which is to cry. Sometimes on the toughest of days, you just have to. Just remember that at some point you do have to wipe them away. When you do, there will be a new little miracle waiting to show you a thing or two. Then you can go get some coffee.
